4/ I Remember Thinking I Wanted to Be Married at Age 21ish

I clearly remember being in my adolescent (read: awkward) years and being fairly certain that by the time I was done with college, I would be married.

I also remember graduating college and thinking something similar of my mid-twenties.

Reflecting on such things now, I just sort of laugh inwardly and think yep-I-was-out-of-my-mind. No mean thoughts to you beautiful people who married in those years. I can only speak for where I am, slash, have been.

Having since traversed proverbial adolescence, college, a great handful of years in Europe, and now grad school/seminary, I am beyond grateful for these years. And I am more than positive that me being married at age 21ish would have been a near-disaster for me and maybe just slightly less awful in my mid-20s. I have learned so much about myself in the last two to four years that I had absolutely no idea of in those I-know-everything-years. I have healed tons. I still am doing that. And I am glad.

I still pray for that unknown boy, but from a much different place than when I was 14ish, 21ish, or 25ish and praying similarly. Oh dear. If you could only read my journals.