I went running in Central Park yesterday and felt like I’d wandered into another 5k. There were so many (far more) hardcore runners flying by me in that picturesque city greenery. I pretended I was in a movie as I ran by that old lake thing in the center–the one with the buildings that scratch the sky in the backdrop.

In the US, today is Independence Day. And yes, I am feeling happy and independent.

I’m not sure why, but in the last few weeks, three or four of my dearest friends have asked me the same question on separate occasions, and from various points of longitude/latitude: “What if you never get married, Nelly?”

I like it when people ask good questions. My answer has swirled around a few things. I shall list them, because it is a holiday, and I love lists.

So…what if I never get married?

1. Well, I think that God will still satisfy my loud desires with good things.
2. But I’ll likely be mad at Him at times and become even more of a God-wrestler.
3. I will question whether I “heard him right” the many times it felt like the Spirit promised me a family and such.
4. And those questions of not hearing His Voice as clearly as I presumed will probably be harder than the fact of not being married. Because it might cause me to question all the other holy assurances I’ve written down over the years about a host of other things.
5. But, in the meantime, I have resolved to live passionate and free, as best I can. Not waiting for anyone, but living open and awake. Loving out loud.

Time Out did this cover article on the new breed of single women in the city, and how there’s something like 185,000 more single women in this city than single men. If you add in that there are far fewer folk daring to follow the rebel Jesus, then that makes NYC a difficult place to find a decent date, let alone a husband-dude.

This “happy, indepedence” thing makes me think of Rachel C. and her four fun flat-mates that I stayed with the other night in Manhattan. They’re all twenty-something young professionals, single, and smiling aloud and free as Jesus-followers. It made me so happy to notice the streak of good independence I saw in them. They didn’t come to the city to find mates, but maybe they will after all. In the meantime, they’re living free and laughing a lot. That’s the sort of independence I want to cheer on and protect, somehow.

Time Out: NYC Single Women Speak

12 thoughts on “Happy, Independence

  1. As a side note, I find it amusing that the title of that article is the “attack” of the single women – are we known to be a vicious breed?!p

  2. I feel like a total dork telling you this, but…

    I actually tried to “hook up” a blog friend of mine with you. “Hook up”, as in, “hey, if I was a single guy, I would be paying attention to her. Go read her blog”.

    I mean, I don’t know you. You could be an ax murderer for all I know.

    Anyway, I think he got mad at me because like all sane guys, he hates matchmaking. And so do I. So now I really feel like a dork. Twice.

    So, I tried…

  3. Agent B, I can vouch for the character of the Nelly. No axe murderer, that one.

    Nelly, it’s good to live and love outloud and to wrestle God. Heck, I’m married to my favorite person on earth and have produced multiple lovely offsprings with him, but I STILL argue and fight with God about all kinds of things.

    Sigh. I hope I don’t get into trouble for that.

  4. amen, sister. could have written this myself!

    p.s. the reservoir is probably my favorite place to run in the city…it’s beautiful!

  5. Cat,
    You are absolutely priceless. (I wish I knew how to translate that to Portuguese.) Oh! Eu! eu! eu tenho muitos saudades…

  6. Agent B, oh Agent B,
    How might I ease your fears of dorkdom…
    Well, your’s was one of the most flattering comments to date, and one that made me laugh aloud. It’s nice to know the CEO has good-meaning folk like you doing PR for my heart.

  7. Lisa,
    Thanks for vouching for my non-axe-murdering. I’m really glad you still live passionately and fight with God. I think it’s healthy. Just watch out for your hip.

    I enjoy that you spoke of the children as your “offspring” and not the “fruit of your womb” or something weird like that.

  8. Elizabeth, new friend!
    Thanks for helping me out with “that lake thing.” (It’s a reservoir, Nelly dog.) Run free, you.

  9. 10,000 doves.
    You win. Cutest and most appropriate comment yet. Thank you for your good questions and safety.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.